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This snowstorm came and went. The sun is out now.

Hello There, Old Friend.

My Gosh! It has been AGES since I typed words on this thing! Looking at my old entries was both sad and pathetic. Some of the things I wrote in my twenties, were quite insightful and well written.

But now I'm 31 (on the verge of 32), and soooo much has happened. I traded this in for Instagram and Facebook. But writing naked like this---I miss it. So I have returned to write into the void. Because no one reads my journal. LOL

Summertime Blues

Ugh. I need sex. I need vagina. I need money. I need for summer to never end.

I've Been SOOO Neglectful.

As I read the last entry in this journal, I realized how far things have come, and how MUCH I have neglected this space for thoughts.

First, there was the earth shattering, life-changing, and moment defining November 4 election of Barack Hussien Obama as President of these United States. That moment was too much for me to reflect on here. That one had to be lived. But we have a black president now, and I cannot believe I sit here living to see it.

Second, was coming out. That probably will be addressed more at length later. A revelation that has not gone without its share of heartbreak.

And Lastly, the dark, twisted caverns of my mind. A place frought with tension and suspense.

So, Im back, Livejournal. BE PREPARED!!!!


The Stars Wrote Me....

I study astrology...a lot. I mean, it is not an obsession, but, it is something very interesting, and fascinating to my feeble soul. The whole newspaper Sun sign 'horoscope" shit is pure trash. I don't advocate anyone...and I mean ANYONE, to come up to me with that shit. However, that is sometimes the way you get into a conversation about it. I will admit that. But, I'm far pass all of that nonsense. So, with that said, I am going to give some of the parts that make up my whole.

*There are three main parts to a persons natal chart. There is of course, the Sun (or ego) that everyone and their momma knows about. Then, underneath that is your moon sign (or your id), which is the way you flavor your emotions. How you organize your feelings. Lastly, but perhaps (to some) the most important: your rising sign. Which is supposed to be your outward appearance, and your personality. This combined with your sun sign colors you.

My Sun Sign: For years, I always wondered why I was so shy, and so quiet. I mean, I never really cared, but my family cared. It started to get to me as I got older. And I got mouth. And told everyone to fuck off. My sun sign is in the watery Pisces. Popular Astrologists give my sun sign a bad name. We are lazy, indicisive, pushovers, and in general: slackers. That could not be further from the truth. People forget that Pisces is the sign of Jesus Christ. The ultimate Pisces. The ultimate sacrificer. I sacrifice a lot. Not as much as HIm, or as much as some pop. astrologers say, but enough to the point where I feel I am seriously laking. I am great at seeing through people. Not gullible at all. Sometimes I can not turn it off. Its like a radar or something. I feel when people are hurt, and when they are inadequate. It is not a 'fake' knee-jerk reaction, not at all. It is something...almost organic in me. When a friend is in pain, I can feel that pain. When I see something horrible on the television; I envision myself there, in their place. And the pain that comes through, is shared.

In all, being a pisces is pretty cool. It has its moments of ups and downs, but I would  not wanna be any other astrological sign. The empathic thing gets weird sometimes, but that might be due to the Pluto and Neptune aspects in my chart.

Yeah! for Pisces!

My Moon Sign: I'll admit, I knew nothing of a moon sign ten years ago. I thought, I 'm a Pisces, right? Well, wrong. Emotionally, I am NOT a Pisces, at all it seems. Turns out, I am a LIBRA! Hah, that is right. I can totally see it too. My core being is for justice...at any cost. If someone is being shitted on, or has no type of rights or say....I am up in arms, man. Totally Sarah Connor on peoples ass. Pisces doesn't do that. As a pisces, my ego knows that justice doesn't exist. So....help the little people. NOPE, says Libra! Fight the INJUSTICE!!! It is a constant struggle between two different worlds. When I am sad, or upset about something, I see it from two sides. The rational and irrational. Here's the conversation in my mind:

Someone dumped me 

Me (pisces): Oh my god! I can't believe she left me! Im so alone. I'm gonna hold on until she sees Im the right one....Wait

Me (Libra): That bitch was cheating on you! Didn't you see the signs? She may have been the bomb in bed, but that bitch was straight up reckless. But, you know, you shouldn't break up with her, you don't want to be the bad guy...but you are hurt, and she should pay.

Oh it goes on and on. I weigh every fucking decision in my head. From shopping...to...probably murder. The Pisces side of me haaates it! It just wants to move on. But the Libra will not....until it  has been settled.

The Libran moon gives me something else. Something quite frivorlous, I know, but I love it about my moon. It is my love of all things art and fashion. I could watch runways for hours, read Vogue until my hands fall off, and run circles around the MET. These things calm me and soothe me VERY much. Put this in front of me, and most likely, I will forget the argument.

The RISING sign: Oh....where do I begin. I stumbled upon this little gem of information when I was doing my mothers natal chart. She gave me the time I was born, and the rest is history (to use a ruined phrase). You need your exact time of birth to obtain your rising sign. I was born @ 10:11PM. This makes me, being born in NYC, the rising sign of....wait for it.....wait for it....okay: SCORPIO. *silence*

Yep. The stinging scorpion. Now remember when I told you I was quit as hell as a child? Yeah, that aint really a Piscean thing. Most pisces I know, are quite loud. The quiet thing comes from the combination of Scorpio and Pisces. The Scorpio influnce gives me a hard shell. A squinted eye. A warriors gaze. The soft fish is hidden. The scorpions exoskeleton fends off all intruders. My rising sign makes people afraid of me. Or, to eager to get  close. Its a lonely, dangerous life. Its hard to turn the Scorpio off. It just melds perfectly with who I am. When I decide to let the Fishes go...you will know.

The scorpio side of me is always on. It makes me love, and not fear sex (though Pisces really don't...were a freaky bunch), it makes me deep and intense (when I wanna be.); and it makes me extremely loyal to people.<-------But only when they fucking deserve it! IT gives me the fight (but that could also be attributed to my stellum in Aries).

It makes me mysterious, and hard to read (I love that). IT protects me. And those I care about.

So---That is me, astrologically. A PiscLibScorp. A powerful woman. One you don't want to fuck with. And I haven't even gotten to my FOUR Planets in ARIES! 



A Century of Firsts

Thursday night, Barack Hussein Obama formally accepted the Democratic nomination for president. That statement is typed starkly here, but it is quite another matter when you think about it. A black man finally could become the President of the United States. This is happening in my lifetime, and I'm actually old enough to vote him in.

Before this happened, Hilary Clinton, might have become the first woman to become the president. Now, John McCain tarnishes that first by chosing a woman for Veep who blows on everything Hillary stood for.

This has become quite the year of firsts. It makes me wonder if the century will continue the tradition. If maybe, women and other minorties will have the chance to become apart of the government of the country of their birth. Like an Asian president, or a Mexican one. Or better yet, a Gay or Lesbian president.

I must confess, I wept as Obama spoke and accepted the nomination. I wept as a black person, I wept as a woman...and as an American. It's time for change in America. We need to take back our country after eight years of George Bush. The America that was founded on the principals of "Give Me Liberty, Or give Me Death!" And eventhough us Black folks and women were not apart of that Liberty, Obama's election can change that and show everyone that we really were.


Dark Knight Review

I've been a Batman fan for nearly...oh...twenty years now. I've seen them all---the good---and the bad. I've seen Jack Nicholson transform himself into the mysterious 'Grand Gigiol' version of The Joker; I've seen Michael Keaton brood his way through a portrayal of Bruce Wayne. And I've even ---unfortunately---seen George Clooney smirk and plot his way through a nippled Batman. 

In seeing all of this, never have I come across a Batman film that thinks beyond. And when I say the word beyond; I mean a film that tries to go away from the simply comic, and toward the real. 

Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight forces its audiences to think outside of the boxes of 'Good' and 'evil', and explore a world 'without rules'. Where such terms do not exist. Heath Ledger's Joker is no fun and games. While there were parts when I laughed and giggled, most of the time I was floored and mystified by such an individual. The Joker lives outside of human definitions such as "reason", "justice", and "terrorism". Nolan's Joker forces Gotham's residents to abandon their hope in Batman or--for that matter--the government and police. 

In The Joker's world, the people who devote their lives to 'justice' and 'order'---are playing themselves. Order doesn't exist, neither does justice. When chaos erupts, both of these things tend go out the window. 

This becomes evident in the evoulution of Batman himself. He must throw away his mask. Not ilterally, but figuratively. Batman has to put away the facade of crimefighter, and become the outsider in order to stop the Joker. In doing so, he too becomes a villian. 

The performances were wonderful. Christian Bale did his thing, once again, as Bruce Wayne/Batman. In Batman Begins, there was a clear disconnect between his Bruce and his Batman. Here, he is able to keep the distance, but bridge the connection. However, Bale's Batman voice still needs a little work. IT seemed at times that he was overdoing it. But, it didn't take me out of the picture. 

Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes fit seamlessly in with the rest of the cast. I always felt that Katie Holmes was a little to...um...un-dark to be in the film. Gyllenhaal gives Rachel the slight edge I believe she needs to be a believable love intrest for Batman. 

As always, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine do their thing as Lucius Fox and Alfred Pennyworth, respectively. Afred gets to say some amazing lines in this one, and it pays off. Also, Fox has an interesting exchange with Batman that mirrors some real life atitudes going on today in politics. 

Aaron Eckhart moves Two-face from characature to full-flegded human being with a tragedy. I've always been fascinated by the character, and Eckhart justifies that fascination. Harvey Dent is our 'White Knight' in the beginning; a smiling, WASPY DA who wants to clean up Gotham's streets the old-fashioned way. But Dent also believes in Batman. He thinks that Gotham needs him; and when tragedy strikes for him, Dent becomes a law unto himself; in Batman's shoes, but far from his true morals.

And finally, the late Heath Ledger. When I saw the first pictures of Ledger as the Joker, I must admit that I was quite intrigued. The coloring, and the way his face was painted---got me very excited to see his physical portrayal. I will say that I was not disappointed. Heath pushed the characterization of the Joker to a new level. The true psychosis of the character came through in his perfomance. This man was a psychopath and a terrorist. His quirks were at times disturbing and a tad endering. Nolan tapped into the true relationship between Batman and The Joker in the interrogation scene and the final showdown. 

Ledger's Joker will definitely go down in film history as the definitive performance in Batman Canon. 

So, do your self a favor and see The Dark Knight. IT will open your eyes, or you might consider becoming a nerd for Batman again. Or, if your already a Batnerd, you will find your heart renewed to him once more.

I Have Seen The Glory....

....and it was GOOOD!!! I will post a review later in the week, after the high has worn off. Do yourself a favor, go and see The Dark Knight. Support Chris Nolan and Co.

It's Only Teenage Wasteland...

The VH1 Rock Honors is on now....honoring The Who. I had forgotten how much I liked them. And how many of their songs fucking rock!!! Seriously. Damn. 

They still fucking got it. Damn shame that a group of old guys rock harder than some of these youngins out here. 

Go Who!